Battletech: Skies Without End

Baby Got Battlemech

“Baby Got Mech”

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her Mech.
It is so big. scoff She looks like,
one of those Highlander’ guys Battlemechs.
But, you know, who understands those Scottish Guys? scoff
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total Lyran, ‘kay?
I mean, her Mech, is just so big.
I can’t believe it’s just so tall, it’s like,
out there, I mean – gross. Look!
She’s just so … ASSAULT!

{Lyran Singer}
I like big Mechs and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a mech walks in with an itty bitty speed,
And a PPC thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna be tough
‘Cause you notice that PPC was stuffed
Deep in the Mech she’s piloting
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your planet from you
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that Mech you got makes me so scaredy
Ooh, polished-o’-smooth-armor

Baby got Mech!
Yeah, baby … when it comes to Mechs, Liao ain’t got nothin’
to do with my selection. 75-45-75? Ha ha, only if she’s Canopian.

You say you wanna get in my Leopard?
Well, use me, use me
‘Cause you ain’t that average groupie
I’ve seen them Jumpin’
To hell with Coolin’
She’s Big, she’s Bad, You Bet.
Got it goin’ like a 100 ton Vet.
I’m tired of magazines
Sayin’ AC Ultras are the thing
Take the average mech man and ask him that
She gotta Big Mech, much Mech back.
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the Mech? (Hell yeah!)
Tell ’em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that Big Ass Mech!
Baby got Mech!

Baby got Mech!
Yeah, baby … when it comes to Mechs, Liao ain’t got nothin’
to do with my selection. 75-45-75? Ha ha, only if she’s Canopian.

{Lyran Singer}

So your girlfriend rolls a Raven, playin’ workout tapes by Kali
But Kali ain’t got armor in the back of her Raven
My Atlas don’t want none.
Unless you’ve got big guns, hun
You can do SRMs or Lasers,
But please don’t lose that Gauss
Some brothers wanna play that light mech game.
And tell you that the Zeus ain’t much
So they toss it, hay leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Comstar says, you’re Assault!
Well I’m down with that!
‘Cause your Guns is big and your curves are kickin’
You just ain’t it, Miss Griffin!
Give me a Devastator, I can’t resist her
SRMs and LB-Xs didn’t miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis her’
He had game but he chose to hit ’em
And I pull up quick to get wit ’em
So ladies, if the Dropship is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-BRIDGET
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got MECH!

A New Contract
Bridget's Diary

Well no sooner than I say “Oh gee I hope I never have to do THAT again.” and I am back in command. We signed a contract with the Lyran alliance. Tis a lovely contract we have but they are being quite generous which means something is probably off. Ah well I will enjoy it while we are here, which is a whopping 12 months smack dabbed between the borders they share with the Jade Falcons.. We ran a training mission for their lads and lasses today. They did well despite us getting through, but that is to be expected considering how good the lads are. I must say though, Sig and our bondsman Aziz need a STERN talking to at the very least. I may not be the best at commanding but ye should always respect those in charge. As a side note I have decided to take up knitting during our time looking at the skies. Mayhaps I will make a dreadful bonnet for Sig to wear as punishment if he shows insubordination next time I am in charge. Yes that should do the trick…

Do Ye Yield?
The Battle According to Bridget
Well, to say the least I hope I never have to do THAT again. I do not know how Cale puts up with it, but commanding a unit is bloody stressful. I think I did okay for the most part. Our new lads kept asking “What do we do?” and I am the last person ye want to ask that to. Normally I would say blast the clan scum to their bloody boots, but I had to do Cale proud in his absence. Our new lad we got not too long ago fought well despite my lack of leadership on the field. We did have another new lad join us as well. T’was amusing to watch him though next time I might place him in a bigger mech so he doesn’t grab his knickers and run away again. Laurelli did well as ever. She is a fine pilot in her griffin. Overall we did well enough. I hope Cale will be pleased when he finds out. On a more personal note, I found my first taste of leadership quite awkward. It took all I had NOT to blast the bloody Smoke Jags to a pulp. I did however find that it is not always neccessary to win by killing them. I was going to be an arse and use the Summoner to blow them all to shreds, but I found them quite honorable despite the more lax practices of the Jaguars. I found myself right in front of the badly torn Cauldron Born, ready to off him as he had shut down. Something odd came over me though. I realized I was leading my guys and instead I opened up communications and simply asked “Do ye yield?”. The hatch to the Cauldron born popped open and up stood their Star Colonel. So went my first taste of command. Now we just need to fix our jump ships and head back to the inner sphere to deal with those asswipes who broke the contract. I just hope the rickety ships don’t get us caught by another person who has been “admiring” us.

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